Jack I Am
by aligater
Summary: Jack tries to convince Sam to go fishing with him... Dr. Seuss style!


**Jack-I-am**

By **aligater**

Email Author: **aligater( my 'at' symbol isn't working! )online.ie**

Summary: Jack tries to convince Sam to go fishing with him…Dr. Seuss-style!

Category: Humour, poetry

Season: Any

Pairings: Jack/Sam, sort of, but not really shippily at least.

Spoilers: none

Rating: G

Warnings: none Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM/UA, Showtime/Viacom, SCI-FI Channel, Gekko, Double Secret Productions etc. 'Green Eggs And Ham', from which I borrowed the rhyme, is property of Dr. Seuss and all the powers that be, not me. No copyright infringement intended. This story is written for fan entertainment only and no money has exchanged hands. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted anywhere without the authors consent.

Written: 15th and 16th of November 2004

Dedication: For all those nice people at PETA who sent me stickers!

Author's note: This is all SueKay-04's fault. I was happily reading a fic of hers, when she made Sam say: "No sir. I do not want to go fishing." and the idea just popped into my head! So thank you Suz, and to everybody else, blame her. Thanks to my beta'rs, Deepdale and Coco Ahrens (both super writers) for putting up with my insanity. Luv you guys!!! P.S. I do not own Suz either!

…Did I hear the word 'sequel' being uttered??

I am Jack,  
I am Jack,  
Jack I am

That Jack-I-am!  
That Jack-I-am!  
I do not like,  
That Jack-I-am!

Do you like,  
To fish, my Sam?

I do not like it,  
Jack-I-am,  
I do not like,  
To fish, now scram!

Would you like it,  
Here or there?

I would not like it,  
Here or there,  
I would not like it,  
Anywhere,  
I do not like,  
To fish near dams,  
I do not like it,  
Jack-I-am.

Would you like it,  
At a lake?  
Would you do it,  
For your CO's sake?

I would not like it,  
At a lake,  
I would not do it,  
For your sake,  
I do not like it,  
Here or there,  
I do not like it,  
Anywhere,  
I do not like to fish, I shan't,  
I do not like it Jack-I-am.

Would you do it,  
With a net?  
Would you do it,  
As a bet?

Not with a net,  
Not as a bet,  
Not at a lake,  
Not for your sake,  
I would not do it here or there,  
I would not do it anywhere,  
I will not go and fish, you ham,  
I do not like it Jack-I-am.

Would you? Could you?  
In the sea?  
Do it! Do it!  
Please, for me?

I would not,  
Could not,  
In the sea,

You may like it,  
You will see,  
You may like it,  
By a tree!

I would not could not in the sea,  
Not by a tree! You let me be,

I do not like it with a net,  
I do not like it as a bet,  
I do not like it at a lake,  
I do not like it for your sake,  
I do not like it here or there,  
I do not like it anywhere,  
I do not like to fish, I can't,  
I do not like it Jack-I-am.

A stream! A stream!  
A stream! A stream!  
Could you would you,  
In a stream?

Not in the sea! Not by a tree!  
Not in a stream! Jack! Let me be!

I would not could not with a net,  
I could not would not as a bet,  
I will not do it at a lake,  
I will not do it for your sake,  
I will not do it here or there,  
I will not do it anywhere,  
I do not fish, you crazy man,  
I do not like it Jack-I-am.

Say!  
In the spring?  
Here in the spring!  
Would you could you in the spring?

I would not could not,  
In the spring.

Would you could you as a team?

I would not could not,  
As a team,  
Not during spring,  
Not in a stream,  
Not in the sea,  
Not by a tree,  
I do not like it, Jack you see,  
Not at a lake,  
Not with a net,  
Not for your sake,  
Not as a bet,  
I will not do it here or there,  
I do not like it anywhere!

You do not like,  
To fish, my Sam?

I do not,  
Like it,  
Jack-I-am

Could you would you,  
On a boat?

I would not,  
Could not,  
On a boat!

Would you could you,  
While afloat?

I could not would not on a boat,  
I will not will not while afloat,  
I will not do it as a team,  
I will not do it in a stream,  
Not in the spring! Not in by a tree!  
I will not fish! You let me be!  
I do not like it with a net,  
I do not like it as a bet,  
I will not do it at a lake,  
I will not do it for your sake,  
I do not like it here or there,  
I do not like it ANYWHERE!

I do not like,  
To fish,  
Goddamn!

I do not like it,  
Jack-I-am!

You do not like it,  
So you say,  
Try it! Try it!  
And you may,  
Try it and you may, I say.

Jack!  
If you will let me be,  
I will try it,  
You will see.

(One seven-hour-long trip to Minnesota later)

Say!  
I like to fish! I can!  
I do! I like it Jack-I-am!  
And I would fish while in a boat,  
And I would fish while afloat...

And I will fish in a stream,  
And during spring,  
And as a team,  
And I would fish,  
By a tree,  
It is so good, so good you see!

So, I will do it with a net,  
And I will do it as a bet,  
And I will do it at a lake,  
And I will do it for your sake,  
And I will do it here and there,  
Say! I will do it ANYWHERE!

I do so like,  
To fish! Oh, man!  
Thank you!  
Thank you!  
Jack-I-am!


End file.
